How can I forget the feeling. Darkness it is called. I tried so hard to move my legs and arms but I am so weak. I could hardly recognize the way those people look like but I can hear their murmur. No hours of the day that I cannot hear footsteps coming near my place. I tried to glance a bit when I slightly open my eyes. I was expecting for them to give a smile but I cannot see it, my visitors would have the same expression. I wonder why their tears keep on falling as they look at me, aren't they happy that I am here?
My life's journey started in the 13th of August in the year 1989. I was a dreamer, a girl of everything that I get what I want. I am Doreen and this is my story.
I sauntered into the glitzy bistro on the top floor of the shopping mall confidently ordered a mocha coffee and bread. I was smiling all the way because of the freedom that was given to me by my parents to went out alone without a chaperon. I toked a sip of my coffee when my mobile phone beeped into action. I got a message. It always made me jump,even though it is a month now that I have this phone. The most latest phone that my parents gave me for my 15th birthday. I cannot forget when I flicked open the phone and the words "message received" gave my heart a little flutter. I pressed a button and hoped, with a tiny guilty ache, it wasn't from home wanting me to go back that early.
Luckily,it wasn't, it is from Jack. "Hi", it read. I loved that little word. So friendly, so casual, so cool as Josh would say: Everything booked u! Hope you are all set for Friday. Can't wait to see you later.love J.
A tingle of excitement swept through my whole being and I put a smile on my lips. I pressed reply then slowly typed my response to Jack "Hello, how are you?"
That was already a routine every weekend to go to restaurant in the mall and flicked my phone texting Jack. We became close friends and later decided to get to know each other and time run so smoothly that we haven't notice we are officially dating.
One sunday morning Jack ask for my hand and offered me a ring. I know what he is planning but I am afraid my parents would not allow us for I am only 19 and Jack is 21. It was a big decision but I love Jack that i can't help but said "Yes"
At first my parents won't allow me but I won't eat my meal and close myself in the room. Later, they decided to permit me and Jack and I received our vows a bows a week after. That was the happiest day of my life to be a part of the man I loved so much.
We became the happiest couple. Jack and I even at an early age would spend time working in our church and that became our way to get near God. Thanks to Jack who taught me how to open my eyes in the world of Almighty and make me realize that the true happiness is not in having all things you want but sharing to others what you got.
Until one day, I feel something unusual. I can't take the pain in my head. I was admitted in the hospital and there I began to feel weak. During my 3rd day blood came out of my nose and it get worst when I would even vomit a pail of blood. We don't know what will happen to me. Jack and my family keep on praying.
One day the doctor came to us with the result of all the examination. It came out that I have a leukemia. I want to throw up all the food I am eating when I heard what they said. My married life is still young, I still have plans for me and Jack and we have no babies yet.
Everyday gets worst as less and less number of my red blood cell was covered with my white blood cells. I know all I need is a miracle and Jack was their at my side to make me feel comfort.
Darkness it is called. I tried so hard to move my legs and arms but I am so weak. I could hardly recognize how does the people look but I can hear their murmur. No hours that they would inject me with bags of blood. all I feel is the tears in my arms falling. Aren't they happy that I can rest now?
It was February 13,2009 when I see the Kingdom which Jack is talking about. I know and I can see how hard it is for him without me now beside him. We've been together for less than a year but those days are enough for me to feel how precious life on earth is. Yes, I was born sickly and died at an early age but I am happy.
